Spark

I am a
tumbling
fumbling
mumbling
bumbling
mess.
With a spark inside
brought to life
by a woman whose joy breached pain.
More than a learned skill,
A choice.
A choice she made to sacrifice
her physical comfort for me
in life and death.
She gave joy to me.
Now this spark stays &
I am a
burning
flaming
blazing
glowing
mess.
An unwavering human mess.
Happy to share
my Mother’s Joy.

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Rainbows in closets

I’m sitting in my unfinished closet.

In the middle of my room sits a faucet.

I’m ready, open, and embracing change.

any form will do.

Feels oh so good to smile at the sun

and feel it smiling back too.

My closet’s calming.

I could sit here for days.

But there’s life beyond this calming paint-

A rainbow of mints, oranges, greens & grays.
I find the longer life gets,

the more colors I’ll see.

In smiles, in hearts, in closets,

and sometimes in me.

I spoke on stage for the first time & I didn’t die 


I spoke at an open mic for the first time in a long time at Busboys. It was a poem that I’d written for my Dad’s birthday in March but been too nervous to share. 

I was given a voice & I can’t let fear be the thing to halt me & keep me from moving forward. 

Fear has been a driving force in my life and has informed too many of my behavioral choices to the point that it’s ingrained in me. Fearful thoughts are the first thing I hear. With that fact echoing in my head, I still have to step forward. I won’t grow if I don’t. 

And my biggest fear is being stuck. Never growing. I have to hush these voices if I want to step into the light, out of my comfort zone towards true authenticity. 
There is no other option. My parents cannot speak, so I speak for them. I won’t let fear blind the path of potential any longer. Sure, I’ll always be afraid, but I won’t let that be a reason for me not to speak. I will feel that fear & go. Feel the fear & go. Go.