Have you ever had those moments when you sit and think about your life? You reflect on the things that have happened to you, to those you love and how it has impacted you? In your self reflection, you go through high’s and low’s and it’s a roller-coaster After you’ve reached the conclusion of your grand self-reflection,do you have some type of epiphany and vow to make a change for the better?
I’ve done this hundreds of times. I’ve made promises to myself that I made an effort to keep and then those self-commitments die away after a little while. In addition, I’ve questioned why my commitments to my own promises have faded to the back and I have answered with excuses (“I’m tired. I need to do this. I need to go here before I can do that” etc). The truth of it all comes down to one thing: laziness.
One of the hardest things is facing a truth about yourself. After trying and failing to keep a commitment, I eventually had to face the truth.
Now, as I said earlier, I’ve reviewed my life and vowed to make changes too many times to count. So what was different about this time? What was so special about this time?
After my Step-Grandfather passed away on January 2nd, I had another of my grand reflections. But this time I decided that I would not lie to myself. I decided I would strip away all of the excuses I’ve been telling myself. You still have time. You’re young. You can put off your goals for a little longer, just watch this 30 minute show. 30 minutes won’t kill you.
I was tired of letting little things get in the way when Bigger things were happening in my life. I was tired of letting little things get in the way when my Goals are larger than those little things.
I had to face the truth that the majority of the people who I lost in my life died from something that could have been preventable. Diabetes, High blood pressure, and other grave diseases are prevented by what I put into my body.
The difference between those times when I’ve reflected on my life before and now was that I didn’t give myself any excuse. If I felt myself forming an excuse I shot it down. What’s more important: this 500 calorie slice of pizza or living a healthy, happy life? What do you value more: this all day Doctor Who marathon or being able to run, walk, and move with BOTH legs when you’re 74?
The difference between then and now was that I had been giving myself empty promises and I didn’t want my family to bury me young for something I could have prevented. I want to give myself the best chance at life. I realized that I needed to take care of myself to eventually take care of my family. How could I think about my future, my goals, my outward commitment and success, then completely ignore my body?
I had to be hard on myself and I had to reach out to people in my life who would be honest and supportive with me. My sisters were in the same boat as me, and we’ve been working together. Having people there to support you is vastly important especially for those like me who lack self-motivation. I decided to grab that moment of motivation and hold on to it, rather than let it slip through my fingers as I had numerous time before. It can be hard sometimes and it can be fun. I’ve slipped up a few times, but this time I will not let myself fail. I learned that I must accept my mistakes and move forward from there. It only becomes a problem if I decide to stay stuck in one place of denial or decide to go back to where I was before. I cannot allow it. I’ve tried this before and I have completely thrown in the towel after one slip up. I refuse to do that to myself and my family.
I am proud to say that through commitment, watching everything that I eat, and working out, I have lost 28 pounds over the past 5 weeks. I have fun this time around, I eat delicious low-calorie food, I do the work outs I want to do, and I stay informed. I will continue to follow what has been working for me and I will work to be my healthiest self. This is not a temporary promise to myself, it is a life-long commitment. I’m learning the value of patience.
There’s probably a whole bunch more to be said, but the one hour I gave myself on my computer is up and I need to go running (:
P.S. I’ve taken up hiking and it is amaaaaziing.