I spoke on stage for the first time & I didn’t dieĀ 

I spoke at an open mic for the first time in a long time at Busboys. It was a poem that I’d written for my Dad’s birthday in March but been too nervous to share. 

I was given a voice & I can’t let fear be the thing to halt me & keep me from moving forward. 

Fear has been a driving force in my life and has informed too many of my behavioral choices to the point that it’s ingrained in me. Fearful thoughts are the first thing I hear. With that fact echoing in my head, I still have to step forward. I won’t grow if I don’t. 

And my biggest fear is being stuck. Never growing. I have to hush these voices if I want to step into the light, out of my comfort zone towards true authenticity. 
There is no other option. My parents cannot speak, so I speak for them. I won’t let fear blind the path of potential any longer. Sure, I’ll always be afraid, but I won’t let that be a reason for me not to speak. I will feel that fear & go. Feel the fear & go. Go.

Dear Daddy…

Dear Daddy,

I’ve let fear hush me before. I’ve accepted fear before because it was comforting. But, you’ve never let me stay there too long. You made me feel uncomfortable in my comfort. Thank you so much. Thank you for teaching me how to be brave before I knew how to be brave. Thank you for emphasizing the importance of reaching past those inner struggles and breaking free from the walls of my mind for something greater than myself. No matter what the goal was, if it was there, I may as well try.

I never fail because every opportunity is a lesson to grow from. I will have moments when I will fumble, but you have taught me to feel what I feel in that moment, without denial, and then move forward. There is no growing in staying in one place. Thank you for leading by example. I’ve taken one small step on what will , hopefully, be a long journey of fear-conquering.

Love always,