10 things that saved my life

1. Growing up

I appreciated getting taller…that’s it.

2. Puberty

Not to be confused with “Growing up”. Puberty was what I called a “miracle”. There was not a single thing (EXCEPT one thing *coughperiodscough*) that I hated about puberty. My boobs became pillows and my hips became the perfect place to rest my hands when I was tired. My new-found hips also worked as the perfect door opening device. I loved the changes. Sports Bra’s became my best friend.

I didn’t really care about acne and I was never really self-conscious about my body. I loved it (probably more than most). The thing I loved most about my new body was that it felt like my new body. It felt like I was turning over to a new chapter in my life with my new super-awesome body.

When I first stopped looking like my old sixth grade self, my first thought was,” I can’t wait to stick a wad of cash in my bra!”..

Why? Because it is the best pocket ever. Think about it. If I ever get robbed, would the robber think that my money is in my bra? not likely.

Thank you, Puberty. 

3. Music

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain”

-Bob Marley

Nuff Said.

4. Poetry

Poetry. I’m no the best, I’m not worst. I discovered that this was the easiest way to express anything. Whether it be the smallest appreciations or the biggest turmoils, I always had away to release my emotions.

5. Dancing

I’m what is referred to on Awkward Black Girl as a Rhythm-less Black (Watch ABG Here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIVa9lxkbus)

I gave up on having rhythm years ago. I dance like Elaine from Seinfeld and I don’t care. Not-caring was the best thing that ever happened to me.

THIS IS ME: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xi4O1yi6b0

6. Laughter

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAWAWAWAWWW!!!!

I laugh like a cackling witch. I throw myself anywhere and everywhere when I laugh.

I laught at everything. LIFE is funny.

It’s so Fun 😀

7. NOT wearing Shoes

They’re way over-rated. I try to go shoe-less as often as possible…

not a fan of socks either.

8. Balloons

Bored in the house? Try playing an intense game of balloon volley ball in your living-room, and the floor is made of Lava! And YES, I’m technically an adult…

http://www.tv.com/shows/raising-hope/watch/living-room-balloon-ball-1954666/

9. Crying

Great release. Especially when you haven’t had a good cry in quite a while. You can cry out of sadness or joy.

10. Aluminum Foil

It’s like clay, but it never dries out. It covers my food and makes a great sword. I’ve fought many-a dragon in Pillow-ville with a foil-sword.

11. Screaming

Ok. On the count of 3, you and I are both going to scream to the top of our lungs.

3….

2…..

1….

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You feel that? Then you know exactly what I’m sayn’ 

BTW, you should probably go hide somewhere if someone called the cops (:

-Manny

I think I figured out a little bit o’ me

There is no one-sided definition of anyone. Everyone is a mix of complex words, images, and unspeakable words. I can’t get my head wrapped around a single definition of who I am (I am speaking beyond the surface). This is what I know for sure:

  1. I love to Laugh/Smile (Who doesn’t?)
  2. I really really love chocolate (milk)…but I don’t ever drink it.
  3. I am not a “world-traveler”, but I do like to go to interesting places
  4. I am in this lazy mid-to-late college rut (pre-post-post-rut) that I won’t be able to shake until I feel like I’m contributing something

I’m going to go ahead and bounce off of 4: I feel like everything in my life has been a build up to something bigger than myself. I’m not just speaking academically. (Learning is great, but hands-on feels a little greater). Anyway, I’m speaking about the rest of life. From the financial struggles, to my father’s blindness, to the stupid dumb f*cking cancer that took my mother’s life. I feel like the things I’ve seen, experienced, and learned from give me a certain permission to do something I wouldn’t have done before. It feels like a crazy stirring that needs to burst. Its just sitting there…waiting.

The bad thing is that I’ve been so antsy and focused on the excitement of what-if of tomorrow that I’ve forgotten about today. I can’t separate the academic life from regular life, because all of it is my life. I’ve heard it before, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Some things can make or break you. I’ve been broken before (and I will again), but the key is to not stay broken for too long. A life spent not moving forward isn’t a life at all. You can sit for as long as you like, but I’ve learned that the world keeps on moving. I don’t wan’t to be apart of the  driven moving world. I’d rather take a nice, leisure walk.

You can’t rush life.

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I think the definition of self is all-encompassing and the thrill is finding that purpose. I think confidence comes in putting those pieces together. The pieces come as you go.Image

It’s not an outward/loud confidence, but it shows. It is being self-aware.

Don’t feel alone, there are over 7 billion people in the world who have or will be looking for the same thing…

“All men should strive 

to learn before they die

what they are running from,

and to, and why”

James Thurber