Life is weird

I was nominated! NOMINATED. I have been nominated! Someone N-O-M-I-Nated me!!??

I was nominated for placement in a program for the Peace Corps!

It’s something I’ve wanted to do. Its been my dream since High School. But, the question is, what happens after that? I’ve always wanted to be an in the moment person, but my worrying always gets in the way. I don’t allow fear to get in the way all the time, but it definitely has. The Peace Corps was something I told myself I wouldn’t be fearful of and I’m not turning back.

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“Replace fear of the unknown with Curiosity” (Picture I took in Brazil Jan. 2012)

I saw this quote in a random country music video and I agree. Its hard to completely throw caution to the wind, so I’ve reached a semi-adventurous medium that I like to call Cautious Freedom. Its me letting go with sense. Not holding back sense but staying grounded senses. I’m looking forward to where life is going to take me (:

-Manny

“The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious.  And why shouldn’t it be? – it is the same the angels breathe.  ~Mark Twain, “Roughing It”

Sittin’ on the toilet

Ahhhh “The toilet”. My number 1 place to meditate. Its a bubble of solitude where I can say what I want without hearing any interference. It was while I was on the toilet today that I created this blog. It’s sunday, I have 2 essays and a test due tomorrow. I could be studying, washing that shit in the hamper, or doing jumping jacks, BUT no…I’m going to blog. What is blogging? Do I just say what ever I think..or do can I just drop a thought mid sentence? I have no idea where..

I wanted to make this blog because I couldn’t find a representation of the “me’s” of the world. I am pretty unique (Not in an obnoxious “I’m me/I’m different” way, but in a “I’d like to be able to relate to more people” way) despite all of the things that make me pretty average. I am an awkwardly awesome combination of things and I did not find anything that quite represents all that makes me who I am. Unless you know another:

21-year-old-black-cuban-female-college-student-who-is-not-entirely-sure-where-her-life-is-going-and-has-a-crippling-fear-of-water-and-rollercoasters-and-who-denies-her-200-pound-plus-body-being-“obese”-by-calling-herself-thick?

Actually there may be more out there than I think.

wait! there’s more! A whole lot more, but that’s for later (;

I didn’t want to follow something that has some “black struggle” thing going on, or a “thick girls who love their bodies” thing because I don’t really Identify entirely with any of those.

Basically this blog is me figuring my life out. I’m graduating in May from a small liberal arts college that no one in the world has heard of with a degree in English. One of my friends (I’ll call her Nancy) told her professor that she’d decided on a Major in English and he said “Do you want fries with that?”

That’s where I am right now. So..yeah.  This is me searching for whatever I’m supposed to do and to find a solid definition of myself..

I’m afraid because I don’t know what’s ahead for me, but I’m also mega-excited for the same reason. Sooooo… why don’t you join me? Or not…whatever. I have thick skin. LIES. I am way too sensitive.

-Manny